Journal Entry-August 22, 2013

Maybe I've been away for far too long, but now I have a reason to do this all again. We are just now moving into our new home, perhaps it's a good thing, but right now it feels like it's not such a good thing after all. I don't know why. I'm stressed out all the time, that could be it. Or maybe it's the fact that nothing seems to be going right. Or...it could be because my husband and I are fighting more and more frequently. Maybe we weren't ready for this.

Journal Entry-March 6th, 2011

It's been so long since I wrote here. I don't remember much about how it felt to do so before. Things have been changing. I mean, not physically or mentally for me, I'm still the same, but things around me are different.

My eyes are still blue if you can believe it, and my hair is blonder than ever, but inside I'm a jumbled mess. I don't know which way to turn. Maybe I don't have a way to turn at all. I'm so confused.

I wish that I could explain how I feel, or what's going through my head, but that's just it, I don't know.

Journal Entry-May 29,2010

I write. It's not something that I was proud of, it still might not be something that I'm fond of, but it's something and when I'm upset it seems like the only way to vent my emotions. If there is paper nearby and a pen or pencil then most likely it'll be in my hands within seconds. I write because I have something to say. Other people judge before they even know the truth behind the words. I don't write about people to descriminate against them. I write to show them how they are being percieved not only by me, but by others and I do not put things in there that I wouldn't tell them to their face.

Journal Entry-May 20th

Dead fish rise to the surface, bottles float in the water as if to warn that life there isn't all that good. Plastic cups, cans and even wrappers clog the throats of wildlife that drink from this cest-pool. Do you realize what you're throwing away?

It's not only garbage. When you choose to pollute you're choosing to throw away a life as well. The garbage that you toss carelessly aside ends up in rivers, lakes, and streams or even on the side of the road where innocent animals either swallow it, get it caught around their bodies, or get trapped inside the trash itself. This ends their lives and causes problems for humans as well.

The fish that live in that river, lake or stream that you're polluting, they end up getting caught and sold to fish markets where they're bought by people who unknowingly eat the pollution that the fish was exposed to when they cook the animal in their homes. Does that sound appetising?

Think about all this the next time you go to toss something out your window or aside instead of recycling it. Who knows maybe one day we can clean up the world if we just take the time to look at the bigger picture.

Journal Entry-May 3rd

Why did I start this diary?

People expect this diary to be full of things like death, and hatred towards myself. They're wrong. I don't hate myself . I just think that I am incapable of understanding why I do the things that I do. Others are incapable of understanding me.

I thought that maybe if I started this I would be able to get my message across somehow. I mean, it's better to have more than one way to talk instead of relying on something that others won't be able to understand ten years into the future.

I may be gone by then, but they say that the internet is forever, that is until something better comes along.

I want to make a couple things known.

1. I am not writing this to be liked or disliked. The fact is I don't care what everyone thinks. I'm going to continue doing what I think is right. They can try to stop me, but it will ulitmately solve nothing.

2. I am not writing it to get attention. I don't want attention. I never have wanted attention. I just want to be left alone sometimes. This is my way of telling the world what's wrong and how to fix it. It's my way of venting. It's just a journal, but it could also change the world if given a chance.

3. What's posted here is in fact the truth and how I truly feel. That goes without saying much.

4. I want to change the world. It needs to be changed for the better instead of destroyed by the human race. Maybe if things start to turn around, things will be better off. Until then, let's face it, we're screwed.

5. No one else has knowledge of this, at least not yet. Maybe they will one day. But until then. These are my thoughts.

So there you go. This is the first post in a journal that will hopefully change the world. Bit by bit I'll explain how that will happen. I hope.